by Sarah Chevallier
Identity: Holden Caulfield years: 19 career: “Jobs” include for phonies whom “care” about fake things like “bills” and “food” About Holden: Only in search of everyday romance, because everyone’s a phony excluding myself (certainly). Sidebar, I’m not just entirely positive that “phony” indicates the things I believe this means.
Name: Heathcliff Get Older: Virtually not a clue. Occupation: Mergers (in my enemies’ people) and acquisitions (of the riches and glee). About Heathcliff: put quite a long time creating that #RevengeBody also #RevengeWealth, the good news is I’m interested in an excellent, naive female to settle downward with, ideally a person who merely happens to be associated with my personal opponent, whom additionally simply is literally hitched to the childhood buddy. You already know, for regular, absolutely not nefarious explanations.
Call: Odysseus get older: 38 Occupation: King of Ithaca that’s 100per cent without having a midlife emergency About Odysseus: I’m relating to that wanderlust life: it’s concerning the quest, perhaps not the place, you already know? Particularly if the location is filled with “responsibilities” like “governance,” “parenthood,” and “marriage to someone who’s going to be clearly smarter than myself and just wild while she evades being offered like sexual chattel for a decade while we doof around banging random witches and blinding one-eyed leaders.” Join up me personally of the quest, newly born baby.
Brand: Edward Rochester Period: 43 Job: Affluent widower. Yep, the outdated ball and sequence is actually dead. Sincere useless. Certainly not these days during basement getting restrained with a genuine baseball and string. About Edward: interested in a younger wife who is going to mistakes your brooding Site weblink appearance and condescending misanthropy for awful torment, and ultimately prefers employer-employee roleplay. Bonus if she loves your children although enough that she’s delayed by how hostile I am just to my favorite used loved one.
Term: Victor Frankenstein period: 34 Occupation: medical doctor, researcher About Victor: shopping for someone who shares our interest for secrets of lifestyle but could be all the way up for a persistent hunt to fully capture and eliminate your previous friend from the instances at the institution of Ingolstadt. Sense of adventure is essential, because all of us get out of your North Pole in a few days.
Title: Jay Gatsby years: How old would you like me to getting lol career: Influencer, Renaissance guy About Jay: I’m weirdly much your ex lover, but like a fabulously prosperous and strange version of your that you will have never left for NO GODDAMN CAUSE originally, Daisy.
Mention: Rodion Raskolnikov Age: 21 career: beginner, Extraordinary Boyfriend whom essentially it would be absolutely ok if the guy just murdered a vintage female, because after all, he’s incredible, nevertheless, you learn, merely in theory be sure to don’t label which means that policeman who keeps snooping all around. About Rodion: I’m only a better-than-regular guy in search of a virtually angelically good girl with a tragic tale who’ll for no valid reason dedicate herself to my own collection and is actually into listening to me reciting my half-baked idea 101 “theories.”
Term: Jake Barnes generation: 31 job: Expat, alcoholic About Jake: mega manly. Surely, absolutely, not really impotent. Truly into boating and obsessing in the enchanting and sexual different choices for lady that is entirely merely partner (but you recognize, certainly not the same who’s able to make her very own selections, because of that damn ladybrain). Most importantly: not Jewish.
Identify: Hamlet young age: 26 career: potential master of Denmark About Hamlet: household is actually each and every thing for me. As in, I won’t rest until I rip my loved ones, partners, and possibly actually our place apart based on a conversation I experienced using my dad’s soul about how it’s SO GROSS that mothers and Uncle C are trying to do they, and then he arranged that’s absolutely typical that I’m so fixated to my mother’s love life. My own latest gf ended up beingn’t that understanding, extremely I’m wanting someone who will support me in this hard time and will never need a fucking cow anytime we stab her father and vocally abuse the woman.
